Only a few days ago, myself and a handful of like-minded men returned home from the first annual High Value Dad Retreat. It was absolutely life-changing.

This is not an advertisement. You don’t have to attend one of our retreats to learn the lessons we did in the mountains of Breckenridge, CO.

I want to share with you 10 applicable and actionable lessons learned at the HVD Retreat:

1. A random set of push-ups can change your entire mindset.

One of the attendees, a high net worth individual, told us early on that doing a set of a push-ups can change the course of your entire day.

To prove it, he would randomly challenge all of us do to as many push-ups as possible on a 1-minute timer. We did. And he was right.

2. Gather with like-minded men in pursuit of something bigger than yourself. Magic happens.

This is something I have been missing in my life. I have been a “lone wolf” for many years, trying to conquer the world by myself.

However, I learned just how magical it can be when a group of like-minded men get together in pursuit of a purpose bigger then themselves.

Words can’t really describe the energy that radiates in the room when all of the focus is on changing the world and spreading the Gospel.

Further, having a core group of men who want to LIFT YOU UP instead of drag you down is invaluable.

3. The journey to become a better father, husband, and leader never ends.

Part of the magic of the retreat was how vulnerable and real all of the men allowed themselves to be.

These were dads at various stages of fatherhood. We all shared one thing in common: we are still striving every day to be a little bit better for our children.

It’s great to share lessons and absorb knowledge from more experienced parents — but also give yourself some grace. You will never do it perfectly. Daily progress is the goal, not perfection.

4. Come home from work with major BDE (Big Dad Energy). Make it an event!

This is something I am immediately implementing. I want to give a special shoutout to Nate Norman, who shared this with me over cigars.

When we finally get home from work, we are exhausted. That means our family can get the remnants of our spirit. I know I’m guilty of this.

Instead of shuffling out of the office and letting out a tired sigh, I want to come out bursting with energy. I want my kids to look forward to 5:30PM like they do Christmas morning. Here are a few ideas Nate shared with me to get the creative juices going:

• Honk the horn down the street and come in guns blazing big dad energy

• First one to get a hug from you gets a dollar but you gotta run and make 'em earn it

• Fire Pit Friday: Drop all the to-do lists and have a blast by the fire pit cook some s’mores too!

• Make them find you outside then soak them with the hose when they get there

• Get $100 in ones and toss it up saying "daddy's rich"!

5. Do hard things. It's the only path to powerful personal growth.

At the High Value Dad retreat, we were challenged mentally, spiritually, and physically. We were taken WAY outside of our comfort zone.

It was only after I scaled that mountain, completed that cold plunge, and acknowledged my demons that I reaped the benefits of such struggle.

In the moment, it just feels miserable and hard. Do hard things. There is amazing personal growth on the other side of the pain.

6. Create a personal Ethos that will dictate how you live your life and lead your family. Read it every day.

Kevin Stark, our lead instructor at the High Value Dad Retreat and a 22-year Navy SEAL veteran, guided us through the process of writing our own tombstone.

The purpose of the exercise is to intentionally think about how you want to be remembered by your children and family. It’s painful to think about because you realize how much more work there is left to do to leave a meaningful legacy.

The next step was to write our own personal Ethos, a statement outlining the guiding beliefs and virtues that will guide how we live our lives and parent our children. This was a powerful exercise.

I haven’t asked him yet, but I want him to make this exercise accessible online so more people can take part in it. Stand by.

7. We must first confront our own personal traumas (including issues with our own fathers) before we can be the leader our families deserve.

It was striking to me how many of the men at the retreat, all of whom I consider to be warriors of high moral character, are currently working through personal issues with their own fathers and other past traumas.

As men, we don’t always talk about emotions or so-called “daddy issues,” but it’s an important part of our journey to become the fathers we want to be.

Sometimes, the answer is just forgiving our fathers and acknowledging they did the best they could with the knowledge and experience they had. Pain and resentment can fester in our hearts like a cancer.

8. Physical fitness should not be optional as a dad. You are the example. Go to the gym.

This one speaks for itself. When they are young, your children will look at you as the example. Make a good one. Show them how to honor the bodies God has graciously loaned us.

9. Yes, you actually can climb the mountain that looks unclimbable.

One of the finale events at the retreat was climbing a nearly 14,000-foot mountain to its highest peak.

I will be honest with you: if I had known beforehand how big the mountain was, I probably would have argued that it’s “impossible.” I have never completed such a physical feat in my life.

When we finally reached the peak and gazed down upon what we had conquered, I realized that we are capable of so much more than we think. Sometimes, all it requires is that you continue to put one foot in front of the other.

This same lesson applies to our lives, whether in leading our families or running a business. It’s going to get HARD. Just take another step.

10. Your network is your net worth.

If you don't have men who are excited to LIFT YOU UP around you, you need to get a new inner circle.

Words hold massive power, make sure you protect your energy from the leeches and complainers.

I am starting the waitlist for the next retreat now, so please reach out to me if you are interested: [email protected]

God bless every single one of you,

Jason Howerton
Founder, High Value Dad